Welcome to Zoe's fitness regime for 2006. Here I will demonstrate active ways to stay fit and healthy for the whole body.
1.Upper Arm: Take the Cambodian "road" up to Bokor Hill in the back of a pick up, requiring a grip of steel to remain in the truck. Risk imminent death at the hands of maniac driver.
2. Bum Firming: Ride the afore mentioned pick up. Risk imminent death from a broken spine.
3. Upper Body: Hire a canoe and head out for a loop around the next island, forgetting all you know about water making things appear nearer than they are. Risk imminent death when Bruno turns round and realises you're not paddling anymore.
4. Thigh toning: Go on not one but TWO jungle walks. Risk imminent death from the vast variety of jungle dangers.
5. Arthritis Physio: Substitute heat treatments for warming your limbs in the sun. Then do exercises in the South China Sea. Some may find this mildly preferable to Wexham Park Hydrotherapy Pool. Relatively small chance of imminent death.
6. Back and Shoulders: Attempt any walk of more than 200 yards while carrying the backpack. Risk imminent death from heat exhaustion.
7. Aerobic Workout: Wake up during the night to find a giant tropical beetle clamped onto your back. Flail arms and legs wildly, screaming 'Get it off! Get it bloody off!!!'This activity may continue for several minutes after the beetle has been removed. Stare death in the face.
As this regime means that my annual exercise quota has been far exceeded, my fitness regime for the remainder of the year will be watching telly.
